Friday, April 15, 2011

Gullshit Advisory!


The Mayor presented his budget today....a far cry from being frugal. We're talking about some serious dough here gulls. So what's he spending it all on? We're gonna tell you:

  • $5000.00 towards a neighborhood service center. Brief explanation as to why this is gullshit: according to the City Website, a service center is basically a location where law enforcement can pow-wow and pinch a loaf before hitting the road again. Furthermore, a recent work session revealed that the service center had logged 83 people on it's sign-in sheet, 34 of which spent 5 minutes OR LESS at the center. Note to readers: crime went down in that neighborhood when vehicle patrol checks increased substantially; not when cops were hanging out in this service station. Wasting money on service stations is not going to reduce crime any more than cutting your grass and trimming your rose bushes. 

  • As if that isn't enough, they're also bumping the rental and landlord licensing fee up by $7.50. Don't be fooled into thinking that your landlord will waive that fee. They've got people to feed and shit to pay for too.  This is the City's way of trying to pit tenants against their landlords when in actuality, it is the city imposing these charges upon renters. Jim's gotta pay for his 50 million dollar budget somehow.

  • Oh wait....this one is good. Because there isn't enough parking drama on campus, we now have to hear about the city raising the cost of parking permits. The last time I opened my wallet, moths flew out. Thats how broke we are Jim. You stated that you're "not afraid of spending money" at the State of The City Address. Well you better get scared or else I'm showing up on your front stoop in the grim reaper costume this weekend. 

  • And for the real kicker- Ol Jimbo got us a little thing called the Cops GrantHere's the rub. We were allotted 4 officers under the COPS grant who began service in 2009. The grant pays for them for 3 years but then we are required to keep them one more year on our nickel. So....we will need to pay their full salary (including benefits) starting December 2012. Any ideas how much this gullshit is going to cost? Approx. $330,000 but here's where it gets really good. Between this year's budget and last year's budget, only $50,000/year has been allocated ($100,000) total. Wait...that leaves $230,000 still unaccounted for.....guess where it's coming from. Bend over comes Jimmy (with Terry, Timmy, and Deborah in hot pursuit).

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