Well, it's happened Delmarva. The government is about to shut down. Now, perhaps here at The Other Salisbury News, we are just young and impressionable so our immediate reaction isn't reflective of most Americans, but when we heard the big G was calling it quits, we started laughing. Then we asked each other,"WTF? Is shutdown actually an option?"
We soon found out in researching the situation, that not only is shutdown an option, its a route that has been taken before. According to U.S.A. Today, the government up and shut down in 1995 (for 6 days) and 1996 (for 21 days). During that time, all federally funded recreation was closed (parks, museums, benefits...) and government workers were furloughed...yikes.
After doing more research into the economic and political nature of this whole clusterf*** we still found ourselves confused by the entire situation. Why can't the leaders of one of the greatest, most complex super-powers in the world put aside their differences and work together? They read through massive amounts of legislation every day which takes incredible amounts of knowledge and background to understand...yet they can't practice the societal values that most people master in the first grade...teamwork?
At any rate, it is becoming obvious with each passing hour that this problem is not going to fix itself. The GOP won't accept any cuts less than $61 billion and the Dems. won't give them any more than $33 billion so it looks like all of America is at an impasse while our elected officials sit on opposite sides of the table and refuse to look at each other. Now in CADR (that's Conflict Resolution for our non-SU readers), we learned that when a lot is at stake due to lack of negotiation, its usually best to bring in a third party.
Clearly we need some arbitration up in here. But whose going to arbitrate for the U.S. Govt? Who is big enough that they can't be bought but small enough that they really care about the issue? Who is sensitive and patient and can stay neutral no matter what? And then it hit us- Canada!
The Other Salisbury News hereby invites Canada to come to the United States so that the Senate can enter the phase of arbitration (even though they shouldn't have to because they are the grown ass leaders of the free world). We know its a hassle Canada, but we really need the help, we'll get you next time...promise. There you go Washington. Problem solved. And you're welcome.