Monday, March 28, 2011

Council Minutes 3/28

5:57 - We've started drinking in preparation for the waste of tax dollars we're about to see.
6:00- Hear that Salisbury? A closed session will be going on afterwards- we'll be keeping an eye on that.
6:01- Ah, the Lords Prayer...how lovely to see a mix of church and state in our local govt...they're so rare.
6:02- Shanie's motioning to amend the agenda...seconded by Campbell...she wants to push back ordinance 2149- Ahah! The Crime Free Lease Addendum!!
6:03- Terry's talking...a tenants rights addendum? I thought you said that's what the Crime- Free Lease Addendum was for Terry? Apparently not...we've been lied to again...DRINK!!
6:04- It's been pushed back. It's official. They are scared of us.
6:05- Could that be His Royal Highness in the corner?? It is.
6:06- Pam's on the budget- don't worry, we like you Pam. And it's the Award of Bids...$14,306 to the fire dept. was it? Police want a $17,000 computer...apparently we have the funds... license plate recognition system and the panasonic arbiter mobile digital system...expect to see less accuracy as we keep drinking.
6:09- Gary has a question. He's wondering why we don't have more money available for this...we're wondering how we have any. He proposes that this crap gets lumped into the new budget...we agree.
6:11- There goes the Mayor "it's all written down"
6:11- And Terry's on it! Is this a one time expenditure Pam? Pam answers and Terry ignores her and says its not....
6:12- Campbell tells Pam to move so the Chief can attend to her concerns..."In past years we've had to make some budget amendments around police overtime so I'd like to know how we are doing from a salary perspective before I make a decision...."
6:14- Chief is speaking...she's scary but hot damn she's efficient! Well, now Debbie can make her decision.
6:15- Pick says savings was over $45,000+ ...Terry interrupts to toot her own horn in agreement.
6:17- Gary says that we can wait on the license plate jazz since its new, until it can be in the Mayor's new budget...that's sensible.
6:18- L.P.R.s are actually pretty f-in cool. They capture any license plate and match it up in the system to see if it's owner is wanted for pretty much anything... "the more plate readers we have out the more active, pro-community policing we will be able to do"...sounds like a plan to us.
6:19- Terry had to take this moment to pat herself on the back for supporting the Chief's common sense. Gag.
6:21- Gary's asking why we didn't know about this grant before...
6:22- Pam's says they originally thought they had space on their servers to run the software..."our threshold for computer software is $10,o00 which was set up by council"- gee, wonder who asked for that cap?
6:24- Finally they award the f--ing bid.
6:25- Ordinance 2145...Here we go. Public Hearing begins...A vacant building has to have a local agent in Wicomico County to wipe its ass-
6:25- Kris Adams, President of SAPOA, is speaking. She agrees with the ordinance and wants to help. She recommends adjacent counties be included.
6:26- Public Hearing closed.
6:27- Ok this is irrelevant we are taking a break to DRINK!!!...Ordinance 2137.
6:28- Ordinance 2141- Budget Amendment...
6:29- Terry interrupts DRINK- she says we are not $80,000 in debt and now she is breaking down the process by which ppl find themselves unemployed...have you ever heard of anyone who enjoys the sound of their own voice more than her?
6:30- Ordinance 2144- Marina....we are drinking.
6:33- DRINK- Debbie has a question....it's not even worth repeating.
6:35- Love the new angle Pac 14!!!
6:38- DRINK- Terry needs clarification for Title 15. Shocker! We are bored. And tipsy.
6:39- Explain to us the difference between an occupant v landlord issue and an occupant v their property owner issue..."shall we say" ir-f-in-relevant?! We shall!!
6:40- DRINK- Debbies talking. She wants more work session.
6:41: Ordinance 2147- NUISANCE FOR TREE/SHRUB/PLANT GROWTH--> DRINK because Salisbury sucks!!!
6:42- Well thank God you can appeal it...we're still drinking anyway.
6:42- Shanie says the city should take care of its own properties- AMEN! We'll drink to that!!
6:43- Gary says this shit costs money and is bullshit- we agree! DRINK!!
6:45- The City is cashing out to train TREE EXPERTS to implement this ordinance...drink.
6:46- Debbie "if I may"Campbell has something to say...DRINK... she says its a safety hazard..we say her voice is a safety hazard!
6:47- Terry-DRINK- "it's not some judgmental cosmetic thing for the city"....we think it is.
6:49- We love Shanie. We'd also like to see the city "handle itself."
6:50- The Mayor is falling out of his seat in angst...my God he's a lunatic.
6:50- Get em Louise! She actually did her job- Main St. tree in the way- Park Ave. tree in the way- we should hold the city accountable, "the city needs to do a better job of setting the example-"
6:52- The Mayor is about to pounce across the table and kill Louise, "I need the public to know that categorically things are different..." we don't know what that means, maybe he does?
6:53-DRINK-Debbie interrupted Louise!! "Two wrongs don't make a right...the Mayor is not always made to feel welcome at the work sessions...I do want to say for the publics information was that the reason I did not support the crime free lease addendum was because the tenants bill of rights was not moving forward..." awkward.
6:55- DRINK Terry interrupts Debbie "I don't think we should throw out the whole thing just because the city isn't doing a good job"...we do.
6:59- God bless John Pick...he's a slave for the Mayor.
7:03- Jim's jumping in- "I'm uncomfortable even discussing it out loud on television, about the U.S. Marshall's being here" ...and yet you discussed it out loud on television anyway.
7:05- There is laughing, we don't get it...
7:06 - Public Comments!! DRINK!!!
7:06- Mr. Trader is speaking, he wants answers on the waste water treatment plant"- don't we all. He says the city should pull its weight before it talks about property owners...we love him. "I'm ashamed of this city, it looks like Trash City." Where is he? Mr. Trader, we want to buy you a drink!
7:08- Michael Lane- "My concerns are dealing with the citizens, the kids, and the community center, which we had a survey for...we haven't had any response about the community center. We haven't talked about building in the community or helping our children in the community. All we have talked about is helping the govt.. I've heard tonight about initiatives and task force and insurance being paid...well, we need to put the same $$ out in our commnity, that will employ some ppl in our community, that will give some dignity to the ppl in the community...a positive change in our community is what we need now. We need help in our community. We can help one another and make suggestions and help our children but if we aren't helping our children what will we do? Where else can I express what I need to say? You need to take some of the money we are talking about and put in the community and create jobs. Habitat are volunteers who build homes...we can hire ppl in the community to do the same thing!" Thank God for you Mr. Lane. We love you.
7:13- Kris Adams, "We would like to register some concerns. SAPOA has taken the time to look at 20 Crime Free Lease Addendums throughout the country, they were originated to be part of low income govt housing complexes...but you are not using it for that situation...We would prefer Council that you use this to address Part I crimes-gangs, weapons, drugs, violence- even though most of these rules are already in most of our leases, even though md law already allows for eviction...we will support it. We know that Annapolis has that proven track record but they didn't apply it to their total offenses, we are delving into extreme shades of grey because as we understand it we are now responsible for the 32 pg md code. Our second issue- we don't think its appropriate for any department head to have jurisdiction to alter the crime free lease addendum..we are happy to give you honest feedback on how to help improve the city."
7:17- Mitchell David- "I have some definitions I need clarified. In the Crime Free Lease Addendum, we talked about "near"...how close is that? I want to make sure that when we go to court to evict someone we have legs to stand on. Are you seriously talking about siting ppl for "misuse of a laser pointer"? What do we mean by criminal activity?...Question- if there is a murder, am I evicting my tenant? Or is it the whole house? If there is a young person who is 16 yr old who is selling drugs am I evicting the whole family? There are some nuances that we need to know more about. You are mandating how we are supposed to handle this- well, we need guidelines."
7:22- Kay Gibson "I'm one of those people who does a lot of complaining to Neighborhood Services and they never seem able to enforce it...when I'm walking my dog I'm forced out into the street by branches that stick into the sidewalk....if someone is riding their bike and a rose bush is sticking out 3/4 of the way into the sidewalk their clothes could get torn....I would like to thank the City Council for realizing its time to intervene." My God. No wonder Salisbury is terrible.

Work Session on April 4th, 4:40 Conference room,

Legislative session April 11, at 6:00 on Pac 14

Well, we had fun and are very drink, hope you are too!! Til next time Salisbury!!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

so, by the looks of it, by checking your blog, punching myself in the ear and taking 5 beers to the face I just saved an hour and a half of my life ... Thanks The Other Salisbury News !!!

ps. how "drink" are you?? "very drink" :)

Anonymous said...

WTF is that last woman talking about. Because fucking rose bushes are the biggest cause of crime. Because torn clothing is worse than rape and murder. THEY FOUND A DEAD 31 YEAR OLD MAN IN THE PARKING GARAGE TODAY....i doubt a rose bush is responsible for his death ma'am. Good riddance lady!

Anonymous said...

This is hyterical reading. I love you guys!! Satire is always welcomed, especially when the content is so rich. Keep up the good work. Please don't lose your spot on observations, or sense of humor!! There is hope!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if she thought to go ask the property owner to trim the bush back!!!! Thought bikes weren't allowed on the side walks? Or she could be a good neighbor and trim the bush for him...i know thats a crazy thought!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This just in, Major Ireton proposes new Salisbury city slogan ... "Salisbury, MD - come for the crabs, stay for the trimmed bushes."

BlackSheba said...

AHAHAHAHAHA LOVE IT!